Book Review: A Hacker's Humiliations

With Christmas 2008 just a short dogleg, par four away, you are undoubtedly looking for that perfect gift for the golfer in your life who has every gadget ever created for the game. Well stop searching in the dark, chip your ball back into the light, get to your favorite book provider and procure a copy of A Hacker’s Humiliations: A Glossary of Golf Grotesqueries. Joel Zuckerman’s latest volume is lighthearted, amply illustrated, and, in a humorous sort of way, truthful.

Zuckerman (and illustrator Tom Matthews) have cleverly put together a collection of virtually every golf-afflicted malady that every golfer has at sometime experienced on and perhaps off the golf course. From the tee box to the putting green Joel Z. has hit the game’s frustrations right on the tee. Whether it be the golfing disorder or the player that is terminally afflicted, Zuckerman has it pegged for our reading pleasure. On the tee box you’ll meet Dr. Double Cross and instantly recognize him as one of your most recent playing partners. In the fairway you’ll share the travails of Uneven Steven who never found an uneven lie which he could parley precisely. And around the greens the mortal terror of the bunker regurgitates a host of memories for all of us to share.

Moreover, just to prove that game is not selective in its torment to only the legions of dubs who flood the fairways everyday, Zuckerman has peppered the pages with a few “Hacker Hall of Fame Moments.” You’ll get a flashback to the Jean Van de Velde tragedy, a gut wrenching recount of the Calcavecchia Ryder Cup hosel rocket, and a couple other professional frailties that prove all golfers are subject to the disasters of the game.

Zuckerman’s style is animated and the composition of the book makes for a quick and enjoyable read. You could easily read it at one sitting or systematically digest it in a “devotional” style. For that “hard-to-shop-for” golfer on your list, A Hacker’s Humiliations is a seasonal solution.

Commish Finchem Now Golf's Public Enemy Number One

PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem has now officially become a danger to the sport. Earlier in the year in the process of hyping the FedEx(Lax) Cup, Mr. Finchem described the final four events - a series of season-ending golf tournaments he uniquely dubbed The Playoffs - as “the most impactful series of events in the history of the sport.” It is the analysis of this one statement that has led Eye On Golf to its above conclusion.

First, this is the absolute height of arrogance. Finchem might as well have said, “I am the great Tim Finchem and I have created this enduring Golf Playoff System for you, Mr. Golf Fan. I know exactly what you want and need.” Well, Timmy, bad news. None of the daily members at our club have taken the time to discuss the FedEx(Lax) Cup. In fact, none have rushed into my office bubbling with golf enthusiasm just to discuss the results of “the most impactful series of events in the history of the sport.” And this is the fan base on which Finchem wanted to focus. It seems they couldn’t be bothered to watch Tiger add another $10 million to SAM’s college fund.

Secondly, it demonstrates that Mr. Finchem has no sense of history in regard to the sport. Perhaps he would like golf fans to dismiss the accomplishments of Francis Ouimet and Bobby Jones. If it were not for their prowess with a golf club and the “impact” they had on the game, Mr. Finchem might be digging ditches in Dallas for a living. (Come to think of it, if that were his position in life, he might have a more positive influence on the game.)

And speaking of education, what kind of example are you setting, Mr. Finchem, when you use words such as “impactful.”? It is possible, although highly doubtful, that little golfers in our country have aspirations to someday grow up to be the Commissioner of the PGA Tour. They will obviously need a strong vocabulary based on the example that you have set. However, the use of words that are difficult to find in the dictionary (I check in three for “impactful” with no success.), is no way to guide young commissioners.

Mr. Finchem, you are on your way to becoming golf’s public enemy number one.

Book Review: Teach Yourself VISUALLY Golf

As a golf instructor I am constantly on the lookout for teaching tips, methods, ideas and information that will improve my knowledge and skill as an instructor. Mostly I focus on books rather than quick articles that you find in magazines or websites. Books, because they have the advantage of time and space, usually get to the details. Whereas the quick articles are often putting a band-aid on a golfer’s problem rather than providing a lasting cure. There is, of course, no shortage of golf instruction books. They are, without a doubt, the most popular area of golf journalism. For the most part they all approach the learning of the game of golf in much the same way – here’s what to do from the grip through the swing with maybe a picture or two. There are a few classics and the remainder are also-rans in the race for instructional redundancy.

Thankfully, there is on occasion an instruction book published that, because of its unique presentation, is worthy of recognition. Wiley Press’ series of Teach Yourself VISUALLY books finally found the golf instructional world. Teach Yourself VISUALLY Golf is an optical treat and verbal achievement for both the golf teacher and the beginning student. The most striking aspect of the book is the pictures. Very nearly every page has colored pictures to visually explain the instruction found in the text.

The contents of the book are totally comprehensive for the beginning golfer. The three authors, Cheryl Anderson (LPGA Pro), Brian Crowell (PGA Pro), and Tom Mackin (Journalist), have obviously thought through the material the every beginning golfer should know. The eleven well-organized chapters teach not only the playing of the game, but also such also such valuable topics as etiquette, terminology, history, and equipment.

Teach Yourself VISUALLY Golf is a most welcome addition to the world of golf instructional literature both for the instructor and the student. It is not a book to just read, but rather a volume to be studied by teachers and students. Teachers who frequently instruct beginners will find this book presents a comprehensive and well-organized list of all aspects of the game that a novice golfer should know. Students should have this book on their shelves for continual reference. If you are just learning the game, take lessons from a reputable teacher and buy this book now.

Stupid Press Conference Questions

I had to share this with all golf fans, just in case you were wondering about the penetrating, soul-searching questions that dedicated golf writers ask during those press conferences following a player's round. This one is from the BMW Championship (formerly Western) third playoff tournament for the FedEx(Lax) Cup. All that excitement led to the following exchange between Tiger and a golf writer who obviously has been tasked to cover the FedEx(Lax) Cup. (My thanks to Geoff Shackelford for the heads up on this.):

Q. Did you go home from Boston or did you come straight here?

TIGER WOODS: I came straight here.

Q. Did you wear that shirt last week?

TIGER WOODS: Yeah.

I just don't understand why this reporter didn't ask the obvious question at this point: Did you wash it?

Q. When is the last time you wore a shirt twice?

TIGER WOODS: I wear it all the time, actually. I'm not that way.

Q. I know it sounds really gay, but I recognized it (laughter). It looks good.

TIGER WOODS: Thanks. I love it.

Book Review: a golfer’s dream

Virtually every serious golfer is familiar with the perpetual enumeration of greatest golf courses produced by various golf tabloids. Every magazine with any architectural salt produces one of these lists at least every other year. And I’m sure most serious golfers have dreamt about playing all of the courses on one of these lists. So when someone actually accomplishes that task, the achievement is certainly worth a book. And that is what we have here: a golfer’s dream: How a regular guy conquered the Golf Digest list of America’s top 100 golf courses by Larry Berle. Berle’s journey took him ten years to complete. He began with Golf Digest’s list circa 1995 and set out to play all 100 courses, public and private. At many of the courses you are permitted to pay an outrageous fee and tee it up. A majority of the courses are so ultra private it takes a miracle and some luck to be invited to play. Berle set out to conquer the hurdles.

The question is how you go about putting into words what was a special experience to you but is perhaps of mediocre excitement to other golfers? Some golfers may find the whole quest pretentious, others may find it fascinating.

Overall Berle does a respectable job of describing his quest. He tells us about all 100 courses and the lengths he had to go to for the privilege of teeing it up at some of the most private courses in the country. Berle tries to establish himself as a regular guy trying to play all of these courses. However, the fact is, he owned a production company in Minneapolis and was, on several occasions, able to trade concert tickets to get on a private layout. This scenario sometimes led to making the acquaintance of someone who knew someone who…well, you get this picture. The bottom line is that Berle eventually did barter, beg, or ante up his way onto all 100 courses. We admire his ingenuity and networking skills.

This book is not about the golf courses themselves. Overall there is really little description of the layouts proper. (Spyglass Hill gets a nine-line paragraph.) Rather, it is a travelogue and conversational catalogue of Berle’s pursuit of the Top 100.

At times a golfer’s dream is a pleasurable read; at times it left me lamenting for more.

Els Skips Second Event of FedEx(Lax) Cup

If the FedEx(Lax) Cup had any shred of credibility remaining, it is danger of loosing those last few threads. Ernie Els has now bailed on the second event of the Playoffs. (I capitalized that word so Finchem would think it was important.) Ernie said something like, “I’m skipping the second FedEx(Lax) Cup thingy.”

First it was Tiger who ditched FedEx(Lax) Cup 1 because he said he was a little tired from kicking everyone’s ass for two weeks. Now it’s Ernie who is apparently heading home to the U.K. (I though he was from S.A.?!) to help his kids buy pens, pencils and paper and get ready for school. Quite admirable for Ernie.

I would been interesting to hear Finchem’s reaction when he got the news.

Book Review: Golfing on the Roof of the World

Excuse me if all this sound familiar. Golf books come in all shapes and sizes, forms and fashions, literally and figuratively. There seems to be an unlimited number of topics and angles. The subject matter may get stretched at times, but that is one of the more endearing aspects of golf journalism. The genre has an endless range. Yes, this intro has the same ring as the one I used in my last book review. But, it is appropriate for Rick Lipsey’s Golfing on the Roof of the World. Lipsey is a staff golf writer at Sports Illustrated. He has a previous golf volume entitled In Every Kid There lurks a Tiger. In this current effort Lipsey takes us to the country of Bhutan, a neighbor of Tibet high in the Himalayas.

Golfing on the Roof… does not focus on the golf in Bhutan. You see, there is just one golf course in Bhutan, a nine-holer called Royal Thimphu. Rather, Lipsey uses golf as a backdrop to confide to us his love for the country and share his adventures within the culture. It gives us a picturesque description of the country and an introduction to the life and culture of Bhutan. Golf was merely the catalyst that got Lipsey to the country. Vacationing in Bhutan in 2000 Lipsey played Royal Thimphu and was subsequently asked to do a stint as the golf professional. Lipsey is not a golf professional by trade but nevertheless agreed. His enthusiasm for the task at hand became infectious in the country and has, hopefully, developed an awakening for the game

In my last review, Don’t Ask What I Shot, I discovered a book that shows the influence that golf has had on a nation. With Golfing on the Roof…you can discover the potential that golf has to impact the development of a country. Don’t expect a true golf book here, but do anticipate a fun read as Lipsey chronicles his time in Bhutan.